"How are you doing, you seem a little distant..."

Recently, on a trip home, I had a sweet friend asked me how I was doing alright. She said I seemed a little quieter than normal. And since she noticed and asked I thought that there might be others who were wondering the same thing,  so I'm going to try and explain it for everyone

I can't speak for anyone else, but for me this separation from my family is extremely stressful.  Most people understand that on some level and can imagine that it would be but everyone deals with stress differently. And for me, immersing myself in two lives is not something that is helpful. What is helpful is stepping away from my old used-to-be-normal and immersing myself in my new normal. Don't get me wrong, I still check in with the kids teachers and FaceTime with Mitch and the kids every night. I talk to Mitchell and make sure that they are taking care of, feeling well and doing good in school, but what I do not do is try and stay current with everything else.  I don't make sure that Mitchell has dog food for Tama, I don't make sure that the cars are clean. I do not care if the house is clean or not, because I've already cleaned a house this week, this house. I do remind Mitchell of appointments and special events, but if he doesn't make them that's not on me. I've already got enough appointments to keep track of here.

Wow I'm extremely thankful to be close enough that I can come home on the weekend and see the kids and see Mitchell, but it's honestly more stressful than not. It is a 15 hour round-trip on two separate days, with me trying to jam pack as many people, events, games, books, songs, snuggles and hugs and has I possibly can. It's not that I don't want to stop and chat with each sweet friend that stops me, but I've only got two days.  And my sweet children do not understand the time constraints or what they mean.  All that they know is that mommy wasn't here for several days or weeks and now she is and they know that mommy has to leave again and they know that they want to spend every second with me. And while I am strong because the Lord has made me that way and I am confident in the knowledge that he has put us in this place for this time to do this thing and I am exactly where I'm supposed to be, in Durham, with mom, it doesn't mean that my children don't miss me, and it doesn't mean that I don't miss them. So please forgive me if when you stop me I don't stop and spend half an hour catching up. It's not that I don't care anymore. I do. I hope you're doing well, I hope your kids are doing great, I hope the job is going well and your marriage is working great, but right now I have enough on my plate,  and unfortunately there just aren't enough hours in the day. 

I'm so very thankful for all of my friends at home, and can't wait for the day when my old normal is my only normal once again.  Please keep praying for me, please keep loving on my babies, and being encouraging to my husband. Please keep sending me text messages, verses and other encouraging words, I appreciate them and all of you!